Bah, heroes!

A serial story, about Jason, cynical shopkeeper and former magical univeristy graduate in a land of sword and sorcery. Fantasy/Comedy/Drama, written by two people, alternately.

2005/03/16

Bah, burglary!

Strauss always thought of himself as a second story man until Jason had started making sarcastic cracks that his second story was always better than the first he told. Then he just thought of himself as a burglar. However, this really wasn't the neighbourhood for burglaring, no matter how much food he swiped out of the pantry. It was just too poor.

But, the thief's guild refused to let him transfer to another district, so he was stuck here. He'd tried braching out, moving laterally into pick pocketing, having his license to do both, but it hadn't helped much, to be honest. The locals didn't have any coin in their pockets either.

Still, every once in a while you got lucky, some lordling deciding the brave the bad side of town for a bad sort of girl, some out of towner that stumbled into the wrong area. Just a matter of knowing who the regulars were, really.

Still, he was sure his eyes had passed over the girl two or three times before his ears got the message through about the tinkle of, could it be, gold on gold. It could be forgiven really, that he didn't pick up the noise at first, he heard silver on silver rarely enough, but gold on gold?

She was unremarkable, really, a brown cloak hiding what little of a form she had, a bit of mousy brown hair visible from behind, poking out from her hood. A lord's daughter, perhaps? A servant making her way to buy a horse or something? Why was she here?

Not that it mattered. Gold was not something to pass up.

Strauss walked causually down the street, moving quickly, passing her in a few moments as he kept an eye on her in his periphreal. A quick turn at the corner...this would be cake. Just cross behind her and ruffle her cloak going past. He was ready, catching her at the corner.

She turned away from him, around the corner, rotating on the corner like a soldier.

Strauss couldn't react fast enough. Instead of swooping off the purse he knew was there, his hand impacted squarely into her rear, giving her an accidental goose.

Then things began happening really fast.

The girl whirled, and he heard the scrape of a sword leaving a scabbard, his leg being swept, and suddenly he was on his back on the ground. The sword was in her hand, the tip pointed rather steadily at his...

She giggled, dragging his eyes up. She was, well, cute. Not beautiful and busty as most swordwomen were, but the sort of face that made you want to pat her on the head and send her off to play with dolls. Her figure was nothing to right home about either. However, given how steadily she held that sword...

"A pervert!" she said, in a tone that was probably more suited for finding ice cream. "Do you know what I do to perverts? C'mon, guess!" she extorted.

Strauss had a pretty good guess. He gulped, and tried a strange tactic. The truth. "Is what you do to pickpockets any better, milady, as to be honest, that's what I was trying for."